Ideas on being raw.

Alright so if I can come up with a plan of eating 1500 calories on raw-ness and at least make my dad and whatever nutritionalist I go believe that I'm actually eating these 1500 calories, then I can do this.

Calories in fruits:

1 large apple: 100 cals

1 medium avocado: 255

1 large Banana: 100

1 cup of blueberries or blackberries: 50

1 medium cherry: 5

1 medium grapefruit: 20

1/2 cup of grapes: 50

1 medium mandarin: 35

1 medium mango: 100

1 medium olive: 10

1 medium orange: 80

1 medium nectarine: 30

1 medium peach: 40

1 medium pear: 75

1 cup of pineapple: 35

1 large strawberr: 10

1 medium tomato: 20

1 thick slice of watermelon: 70

Calories in vegetables:

100 g of Broccoli: 20

1 stick of celery: 5

1 medium cucumber: 10

100 g Eggplant: 20

100 g Mushrooms: 30

1 medium zucchini: 30

100 g of sweet potato: 60

1 medium corn: 60

1/2 cup of corn: 50

1 baby corn: 5

Peas: green 100 g: 60

snow: 10 pods: 10

sugar snaps: 10 pods: 10

1 cup spinach: 7

Nuts and seeds:

24 almonds: 163 cals

1 cup sunflower seeds: 269 cals

1 oz cashews: 156

1 tbsp of sesame seeds: 52

1 tbsp flax seeds: 60

So a typical day for me could be:

Breakfast- 247 cals:

Smoothie: 1 cup spinach, 1 banana, 8 strawberries, 1 tbsp of flax seeds

Snack-170 cals

Mango, 2 mandarins

Lunch-270 cals

2 cups pineapple, 1 cup grapes, 10 olives

Snack-267 cals

Smoothie: 1 cup spinach, mango, 10 strawberries, 1 tbsp flax seeds

Dinner-550 cals

Salad and an oz of cashews

or something like this.

I got this.

Raw Day #1

(sorta)

Okay so I talked to my dad about being raw, and he's not hundred percent on board and he says we're going to the doctor and whatnot. So I have to make sure I'm eating enough.

So the first half of the day I had: 560 days.

Second half of the day: I had half an apple (45), and 3 cups of grapes (300).

I'm going to look for a nutritionalist who specializes in raw-ness who can convince my dad.

Exercise #1

Today was good. Cannot wait to keep it going.

Home to the supermarket: .33 miles

Supermarket to home: .33 miles

Home to the gym: .76 miles

Gym to home: .76 miles

Home to friends house: 1.03 miles

Friends house to home: 1.08 miles (went a different way)

Home to dance: 3.26 miles

Total: 6.79 miles

http://www.mapquest.com/

Journal Entry #6

Inspiration. Motivation. I found it.

She's a girl that used to go to my school (she dropped out, but honestly she's probably more successful than most people out there who have degrees and whatnot). She used to be a little bit chubby (never really FAT AND GROSS). She left school to “do her own thing”, travel the world, and have fun (something I wish I could do). Anyways, I came across her facebook and wow. She’s lost weight. She’s gorgeous. She’s perfect. She looks like Kat from Miami Ink. Anyways she was vegan and now she’s raw vegan. (Btw I got all of this from being a creeper, and not from actually talking to her). I did the whole raw vegan thing for three weeks and it was easy but my dad made me stop. Anyways I’m going to do it again. Screw my parents, part of being happy is doing things for yourself and nobody else.

That’s something else I realized today. I’d rather be happy then healthy, because in all honesty, part of being healthy is being happy. The only way I can be happy is if I’m skinny and I know this. So it’s time to be happy.

I walked to the supermarket TO BE HEADPHONES, walked home, got my dog, walked to the gym to get schedule of classes because I don’t have any money today to sign up for classes, and I’m walking to dance later which is 3.26 miles. I’ll go do the math later and see how much I walked today.
Anyways got to do my exercise.

My Day #3

I woke up at 9:30. I had pineapple (100) and a bagel (140). I am so pissed off. I hate this and I hate my life. It's disgusting how bad I look. I woke up at the same weight as yesterday.

I have dance later, yay!! :))

So I've been reading other blogs and found out about this 2468 diet. I think I want to do it. I might start it tomorrow tho.

It's pretty much 200 cals the first day, then 400 cals, then 600 cals, then 800 cals. I might do it backwards tho cause I feel like that would work more. Like 800 cals the first day, then 600 then 400 then 200. I don't know, we'll see.

Anyways, just had tea with agave nectar (30).

I haven't even be awake for an hour and I've already consumed 260 calories. That's awesome... NOT.

I might be trying salvia today, which is pretty cool, can't wait to get out of this world and into my own, even if it is only for 3 minutes.

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Well I'm not trying salvia today, but that's okay because I'm actually happy. (Go read my journal entry #6, I think, to see why).

Before I was happy tho I had a salad (300). But that's okay because as of right now, life is about to change for the better.

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So I've had half an apple, 3 cups of grapes (probably less), and a banana.

In total I've had 1005 calories.

My dad is being an asshole. He thinks I'm not going to do this raw vegan thing, but he's wrong. He can't make me eat non-raw things.

Today was bad day in the day of ana, but I'll be better.

Journal Entry #5

Control. That’s what it’s about. Control. I want to be able to have a say in what I look like, in what I put into my mouth, in who I’m with. I want control.

My Day #2

Part One:

Woke up at 10:00. Weighed myself and I weigh two and a half pounds less than I did yesterday which means I'm 3 and a half pounds closer to my first goal, but I know two and a half is a lot and I am going out to eat with my parents today which will be hard, but I got this. My sister is another country and my brothers went out last night, so maybe they won't come to eat with us cause they're hungover. Meaning it might just be me and my parents, so maybe we won't go to the same Italian restaurant that we always go to. Maybe they'll let me pick. If I get to pick I'll pick either a small cafe near by with "light" food or the thai place that we usually go to. I don't know, we'll see what happens.

Just ate half a banana (50) and a tiny piece of dark chocolate (70). I'm going to go take a shower now.

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Part Two:

Ended up going down the shore. We went to a pizzeria and I got a salad (150) and olives (100) Then we walked around for a little bit. Got home, had another salad (400) and a granola bar(190) . Today's total calories 960. Disappointment.

Journal Entry #4

“No I mean impassable. Nothing is impossible.” One of my favorite quotes from my favorite movie: Alice in Wonderland. Every time I watch this movie I truly believe that nothing is impossible. Being thin and beautiful is within reach and I know it. I can feel it. I can feel myself shrinking because it is possible. Whenever I get hungry or feel weak I just think NOTHING is impossible. I can achieve my goal and still be happy but I don’t need food to do it. I know I have a long way to go before I am there (45 pounds to be exact) but it’s okay because once I am there I will be happy and I will be proud. Pride might be a sin, but it’s an amazing sin. Cleaned my room and separated my clothes into 6 bags as follows: Clothes I can wear at less that 140, less than 135, less than 130, less than 125, less than 115, and less than 110. I did this and left myself very little clothes for now which will motivate me so much. I cannot wait to fulfill my goal. Just remember, nothing is impossible.

Playlist #1

Quicksand by Jupiter Rising

It's about a girl who wanted to be famous. She looked perfect and she wanted to be a star. The agency told her to lose weight so she stopped eating and starting popping pills. One day she lost control and she fell. She was too weak and thin to pick herself up off the floor so they took her to the ER. They saved her.

It's a good song. The moral of it is to never lose control. That's what Ana is about, it's about having the control and being in control. Mind over matter and never the other way around.

Journal Entry #3

The worst part about life, about being fat, about lacking the beauty that I so badly long for, is that I can't even bring myself to go out. It's not like I can't, it's not like I don't have friends. Two examples: After prom and last night.

After prom:

I didn't go to junior prom because I didn't want to, because I didn't look good in any dresses and because I didn't think I'd have fun. But my friend had after prom and she invited me and I was going to go. I was gonna drink the night away and have fun, but then... I ate. I looked in the mirror and I looked fat and I no longer wanted to go out. So I didn't. I missed an incredible night because I didn't like the girl looking back at me in the mirror.

Last night:

My friends were chilling last night. We were going to get drunk and whatnot, but because I ate and I looked ugly, I didn't go. I said I was "sick". That's a lie, I was just sick of the girl I look like.

I can't hang out with friends because I don't want to expose my ugly self to the world.

My Day #1

Part One:

I woke up around 9:30 and ate less than half a banana (45) and a cup of green tea with agave nectar (30). Then I threw away a bagel, 2 pieces of whole wheat bread, and these pastry things with sweet potato and raisins. Later I had a lettuce, tomato, and corn salad (150) with 2 water bottles. I ate it really slow and drank water in between bites. Immediately afterwards I felt really guilty. Then I had another cup of green tea with agave nectar (30). All of this was by 12:30. So in three hours I consumed 255 calories <-- that's gross. I'm sort of a math freak so... that averages to 85 calories an hour and 1.42 CPM (calories per minute).

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Part Two:

Then I was going to go out with one of my friends when she got out of work, we were going to go watch a movie but she had to go to her summer house with her family. My mom went to the mall and she said we were going to go out to eat when she came back. We're going to this little cafe place where most of the things aren't that heavy. I think I'm going to have the "Healthy Salad" with no nuts. (It's lettuce, carrot, mushroom and vinaigrette) (150) and club soda (0). This place has vegan desserts and I'm vegan. Usually being vegan keeps me away from dessert but at this place we usually end up getting something. I hope she doesn't want anything cause chances are she'll make me eat it if she gets it.

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Part Three:

One of my friends came to my house for an hour so I didn't go eat with my mom, but I did something worse. The friend who came over is skinny but eats like crazy and she makes me feel like I can do that too. It sucks. So I ate a can of corn (210) and a bagel (140). I hate myself right now. My mom took the dog to walk, but when she comes back I'll go walk him. In 30 minutes I consumed 350 calories, kill me please.

From 9:30 in the morning till 4:00 in the afternoon I've taken in 605 calories. I hate this. In 6 in a half hours I've eaten SIX HUNDRED AND FIVE CALORIES. I have zero will power. I hate this. I can't wait to go walk my dog, and I can't wait till Monday when dance starts again.

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Part Four:

I hate this. My mother got home with the dog and it's been an hour and a half so obviously my dog is too tired to walk with me. I hate this. It just one thing after another with my life. My life is composed of a bunch excuses. I drank some green tea with agave nectar (30) and am now watching Degrassi.

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Part Five:

Finished off the day with 985 calories... that sucks. (ate some dark chocolate)

Going to watch Alice in Wonderland and then go to sleep.

But on a happy note, just weighed myself and I weigh the same I did when I woke up. I usually weigh 2 pounds more than I did when I woke up.

I'm somewhat proud of myself even though it's still a lot what I weigh.

Height/Weight/BMI #1

Height: 5'6 to 5'8... i'm not really sure

Highest recorded weight: 160 pounds (GROSS)

Lowest recorded weight: 113 pounds (i want that soo bad)

Current weight: 145 pounds (EWWW)

GW1: 139 pounds (ew)

GW2: 130 pounds (ew)

GW3:129 pounds (ew)

GW4: 120 pounds (i'll be happy here)

GW5: 119 pounds (even happier here)

GW6:110 pounds (extremely happy here)

GW7: 109 pounds

UGW: 100 pounds (VERY HAPPY here)

BMI: 22.7-that's disgusting

Random tips I've found online.

1. Drink 1 glass of water every hour.

Because it makes you feel full. It tricks your body.

2. Drink ice cold water.

Because your body burns more calories trying to make the cold water into warm water.

3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily.

Because it boosts your metabolism and has antioxidants that make your skin look great.

MY PERSONAL issue- I love green tea but I love it with Agave Nectar which has 60 calories per tablespoon. I'm trying to cut down but I don't really like Green Tea by it's self.

4. Eat spicy food.

Spicy food increases your metabolism because your body tries to get rid of the spicy-ness.

5. Eat Ice.

Your body thinks ice is food and it'll increase your metabolism.

6. Take cold showers.

Once again, because your body will burn calories warming up your body.

7. Brush your teeth a lot.

How good does food taste when you just brushed your teeth?

8. Chew each bite of food thoroughly and drink water in between each bite.

It'll take you longer to eat and you'll get full faster.

9. Pamper yourself: Do your nails, get a massage, a facial, etc

If you feel beautiful you'll want to actually be beautiful.

10. Keep good posture.

It burns 10% more calories.

MY PERSONAL issue- I always forget. So I write it on my hand and put it in my phone calender.

Journal Entry #2

Ana is my best friend. She’s the only person I can trust. She’s the voice in my head that reminds what my ultimate goal is. She never tells me to “start on Monday”. She never tells me “one bite won’t kill me”. She tells me the truth. She’s there every time I look in the mirror. She’s there every time I want a piece of something to stick in my mouth. She’ll never leave me and she’ll never disappoint me.

Journal Entry #1

They say looks are only skin deep. They say to shine on the outside you must shine on the inside. But they’re all wrong. They’re all trying to make themselves feel better. Nobody believes that shit. To be truly beautiful one must be thin. The only way to be thin is to skip out on food. Food is evil. It nourishes our bodies but then becomes our worst drug. We’re all addicted; we’re all in denial. Acceptance is key. Once we accept the issues we have with food, we’ll be thin and beautiful. I’ve accepted it. I’m hooked, but I’m done with it. Eat to live, do not live to eat. Food is one aspect of life and a very small one at that. No longer will I get with friends to eat. I will live my life happy and with minimal food. I’m not anorexic, I eat what I need to survive; it is not my fault we live in a society full of enlarged fat people who do not know when to put the fork down and get on the treadmill. Nobody can judge me once I am perfect. Nobody can judge me once I am beautiful.

POEM #1

I wrote a poem. I know that it sucks but hey, it's only my first one please I only want useful critiques.

It's called:

To be Thin

To be thin

You skip din

Do not cheat

To receive treat

Satisfaction

To have fashion

Cravings destroyed

To have joy

To be thin

When I talk about fashion, I'm referring to the fact that I would love to look good in anything that I wear. And I know that the third to last line and that the second to last line don't really rhyme that well. Oh well, next time I'll try harder.